“I must say,” [Mr. Darling] said to Wendy, “that you don’t do things by halves.”

I’m off to play Peter Pan in a little over two weeks – and I’ve never done things by halves, either.

To date, I’ve acquired and read The Annotated Peter Pan: The Centennial Edition (Edited with an Introduction and Notes by Mary Tartar as well as Andrew Birkin’s marvelous biography J.M. Barrie and the Lost Boys: The Real Story Behind Peter Pan.

In addition to re-watching (and re-watching again!) the Mary Martin version I grew up with (which I’d already seen a thousand times over) – I also revisited the Disney version, P.J. Hogan’s 2003 adaption starring Jeremy Sumpter, as much as I could stomach of Mia Farrow in the 1976 made-for-TV movie (even Danny Kaye couldn’t save it!)  and Finding Neverland a Hollywoodization of Barrie’s relationship with the Llewelyn Davies boys, with a dreamy Johnny Depp playing Barrie (who in real life was 5’3” with a large mustache, a receding hairline, and often given to moody silences.)

I’ve also been ploughing through the 1978 BBC mini-series ‘The Lost Boys’ also written by Birkin, and starring Ian Holm. Despite the excellent critical reception –I’m finding it a bit of a chore – the picture quality of British cameras in 1978 can make even Kensington Gardens look washed out and unremarkable.  And the pace? Well, it’s rather like a BBC miniseries from the seventies. That said, when I discovered I’d missed watching the second episode, I sent the DVD with the third dutifully back to Netflix, and am re-ordering the 2^nd.  While I spared myself the majority of the Mia Farrow version, I feel bound to watch all of this one - however slow it may be!

The truth is – 'Peter' is not a new passion for me - being cast in the role has given me the excuse to dive headfirst into a story that’s always been close to my heart. As I’ve mentioned, I grew up watching the Mary Martin version on a scratchy VHS tape and that version was always “the real Peter Pan” to me.  To this day, I can’t watch the final scene (where Wendy is grown up) without weeping profusely.  (Though I confess, bursting into a flood of tears is not an altogether uncommon happening in my life.)

The ‘boy who wouldn’t grow up’  first came back into my life in force a few years ago when I took a job as a receptionist for a financial company. Sitting at a computer all day, I found I had ample amount time for consuming volumes and volumes of the free-literature available online. One of the books I read was ‘Peter Pan’ (originally published as ‘Peter and Wendy.’) which was J.M. Barrie’s novelization of his famous play. 

Reading the book lit a fire under my dormant love for the story – and increased that love tenfold. I couldn’t stop reading whole passages aloud to whomever would listen – or pretend to.  Whenever I love a piece of literature or writing, my friends and family find themselves subject to constant performances of my favorite parts. I used to write the opening paragraph out in cursive – and it wasn’t long before I had it by heart  (as I do many of my favorite portions of books, poems, movies and plays.)

So when I went to an open call in NYC to audition for Peter Pan – I was already a passionately invested in the story  – when I received the call offering me the role I couldn’t wait to go into what I like to call “full-immersion” mode.

I’ve called this blog “An Untidy Mind” because I hoped it would spare me feeling obligated to make it organized or full of sense or purpose – that sense of obligation is the number one feeling that prevents me from going into a ‘public’ project.

Rather, I plan to haphazardly toss out the contents of my brain as it relates to this adventure – and maybe some unrelated articles will show up as well. I think Mrs. Darling would find tidying up my mind to be a rather challenging endeavor – but I’m sure if anyone could do it, she’d be the one.