"I am back... why do you not cheer?"

Factoid: J.M. Barrie died on this date in 1937

I have survived my first day of rehearsal! Not to mention an EXTREMELY trying and difficult airport adventure trying to get here in the first place. I arrived at LGA at 1:10pm. I was not on a plane until after 9:00pm. No more need be said.

After the travel nightmare I was greeted by two *very* pleasant surprises -- my own room! (I thought I wouldn't be in a private room until we opened) and the box of clothes and the suitcase I shipped were already in the room for me (because the director is a saint and carried them there for me. No small feat - I may be playing a boy, but I pack like a girl. My Indian name is "Carries a lot.")

This day was completely packed - I feel like I've already been here for four days instead of one. We had a housing meeting in the morning - then a cast meeting. Then music rehearsal, lunch (yay Kroger!) more music rehearsal and then a costume fitting!

Costume fitting was super exciting for me. The truth is, pursuing a career in theatre was just my way of continuing to play 'dress-up' as an adult. I am feeling VERY good about where things are going in the costume department. Also awesome: wig has been extremely well received -- don't want to jinx it yet, though, because the head-honcho still has to sign off on it.

After the costume fitting, got some dinner and then it was off to the YMCA (all the actors are given a free membership) -- gotta refine that boyish figure! :P

Somehow despite the fact that the day seems like it was an entire week long, I'm still shocked to see that it's 10:30pm.

There's a lot I'd like to talk about/go in to... but I'm still trying to sort out what I think it's okay to write about on here, and what's not.

Tuesday is our day off during the rehearsal period, so at the minimum I'll try to be posting something once a week.

"I don't know whether you have ever seen a map of a person's mind..."

I'm afraid the mind is more untidy than usual of late, so you'll have to excuse the rambling nature of this post.

In only 2 days (not counting today!) I am off to Ohio!

I've been busy packing and panicking, so I'll blame my lack of updates on that.

Immersion has continued -- since last I wrote I've watched the final episode of "The Lost Boys" and also seen two Peter Pan inspired plays - "Peter/Wendy" at The Cell and "Peter and the Starcatcher" Off-Broadway at New World Stages.

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I don't have a lot to add to what I've already said about "The Lost Boys" -- though I did enjoy the taped interview with Andrew Birkin that was part of the special features on the final disk. Who'd have thought his hair looked like that? He made multiple vague references to aspects of the series that he was displeased with, but never specified what they were. (I imagine that would be discouraged under the circumstances.) I was wildly curious to know -- especially because I felt the 'feel' of the mini-series was so different from the feel of his biography. I wonder if he meant for it to come off as sinister as it does. Birkin was the writer, not the director, so he had limited say. (Think of that scene in "Shakespeare in Love" where Will is talking to the actors and Mr. Fennyman asks, "Who is that?" and Henslowe replies, "Nobody. He's the author.")

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As for "Peter/Wendy" -- Overall, it was charming and entertaining. The actors were all strong performers. I loved hearing many of my favorite passages from the novel that don't appear in the original play. In this production, Peter was played by a boy, Michael and John were eliminated, and instead of Mr. Darling, the actress playing Mrs. Darling doubled as Hook. (While the actress was talented, I had a hard time with this choice. Maybe I'm too much of a traditionalist.) The space was intimate, with a large glass door that opened on to the sidewalk. (At one point, the actors were out in the street and they even brought in some passerby. The night I went an *adorable* toddler nearly stole the show when she kept wandering in and out!) The walls were covered with large swaths of paper on which were scribbled hundreds of "happy thoughts" contributed through email and also from audience members. These were utilized in the show which made for good fun - especially when some of the thoughts were a bit incongruous with the characters and the story - think Wendy shouting "A cold beer!" My two major criticisms: The show fell apart a bit toward the ending as far as I was concerned. They brought in the part where Peter goes back to the nursery ahead of Wendy and bars the window, but in this version he leaves it barred. Part of my issue with it comes from my traditionalism of course, but I do think this choice might of worked if it was better executed. A dark twist didn't seem to fit with the lightness of the rest of the show, and it seemed somewhat abrupt. The script needed to fill out Wendy's discovery there somehow. And lastly, as much as I enjoyed the show, I'm not sure if it brought anything new to the table in terms of the story. Again - no one could have enjoyed hearing passages from the book more than I - but I do feel that the show as a whole needed a stronger perspective of its own on the tale.

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Proof-positive that I'm 100% open to wild variations on Peter Pan? I absolutely ADORED "Peter and the Starcatcher." All the exclamation points in the world could not capture how over the moon I was by curtain call. I'm hard-pressed to think of any piece of theatre I've seen recently that even comes CLOSE to the magic of this show. (Lest you think I only loved it because it was Peter Pan themed, my mother -- who is quite the critic -- saw the show with me and was equally enthralled.)

The play is based on a book "Peter and the Starcatchers" (surprise, I'm reading it now and am about halfway through) which is the first book in a series that's provides a back-story to JMB's "Peter Pan."


If I were a real reviewer, I could capture with words the spirit of this production which was by turns riotously funny, deeply moving, and above all brimming with heart. (Heart is what I've found lacking in so much of the theatre I've seen lately - particularly the bigger shows on Broadway. I saw "Matilda" the day before I saw "Peter..." and as much fun as it was - it felt hollow and soulless by comparison.)

I know I should write more of my own thoughts and feelings because I was so transported and moved by this show, but at the moment I'm having a hard time putting it into words. (The more I attempt blogging, the more appreciation I have for those who do a great job writing reviews.)

So for now, I'll leave it to the professionals and give you a line from a NYT review of the show (from when it was at The New York Theatre workshop) that says it best, "While there’s not a body harness in sight, like those used to hoist the title characters of “Mary Poppins” and “Spider-Man,” this show never stops flying. " (-Ben Brantley, NYT)

Back to the BBC

I've just finished watching the first two episodes (there are three 90 minute episodes total) of the BBC Miniseries "The Lost Boys" written by Andrew Birkin (who also wrote the Barrie biography of the same title)starring Ian Holm as J.M. Barrie.

(Should I be waiting to write about the miniseries until I've finished all the episodes? Psh, tosh! )

I mentioned in the previous post that I somehow managed to send back the first DVD having only watched 1 out of 2 episodes on it. Discovered this when I received the second one and found it was episode 3 instead of episode 2. I sent it back to Netflix and got the first DVD to start all over again.

SO - take 2 on "The Lost Boys."

It really is remarkable how much of a difference it makes when you know what you're getting in to. (I also think having finished reading the biography this time helped.)

(Should I have known what was in store the first time 'round having seen plenty of BBC films of the era and before? Bah!)

I re-watched the first episode again before continuing to episode 2 and I enjoyed it more this time around. I'm also very glad that I didn't skip the 2nd episode - as that's where a majority of the action takes place.

Major criticisms (aside from previously mentioned picture quality and pacing):

- They seem to have cut out a key scene between Arthur (the Davies' father) complaining of a toothache and his lying in a hospital bed with cancer of the jaw. It seemed a bit abrupt and without explanation - I imagine it would have been very confusing to me if I hadn't known what was coming.

-I really hate the woman who plays Peter Pan in the scene where the family is watching the play. A lot.

- From what I've read, Barrie having a persistent cough is very realistic. Some things are too realistic for art. :P However accurate it may be, it's just a bit much to have Ian Holm hacking through every scene.

- Much as I understand why Birkin was tempted to include so much voice-over (we're constantly hearing Barrie's thoughts, or his notes as he jots them down.) it just doesn't work well for film. 

(Tangent/fun fact: At age 16 I tried to write a screenplay of one of my favorite YA Fiction novels, "The Silver Kiss" - a vampire romance novel. I was *SO* ahead of my time! Anyway, the point is - I also used an excessive amount of voice-over -- I didn't want to lose anything from the book, and much of what I loved were the main character's internal reflections and reactions.)

It's understandable that Birkin wants to get in as many Barrie notes and reflections as possible -- but in the end film is a visual medium - it needs to convey primarily through action and not through text. Mind, I'd have no idea how to achieve this either - but I can't help thinking someone could have done it. (Sound bite: "Wendy thought Napoleon could have got it, [Mrs. Darling's kiss] but I can picture him trying, and then going off in a passion, slamming the door.")

On the positive side

The acting really is excellent - child actors in particular are uncommonly good.

Ian Holm might be a bit *too* much like the real Barrie - not at all sure it wouldn't have been better for the story if Barrie were a bit more lovable! That said - he's very moving in many scenes - he brought me to tears more than once, particularly during the scene where he begs Mary Ansell not to leave him for Gilbert Canaan.

I was also extremely impressed by Tim Pigott-Smith as Arthur Llewelyn Davies - he gives a truly moving performance - particularly in the scenes after he is diagnosed with cancer.

Nina Boucicault as Peter Pan in
 the original 1904 production in London

The more I read and watch about the Barrie and the Davies family the more I'm struck by how unrelentingly tragic the whole tale is.

A little child voice inside of me keeps lamenting "I wish it were a happy story."

“I must say,” [Mr. Darling] said to Wendy, “that you don’t do things by halves.”

I’m off to play Peter Pan in a little over two weeks – and I’ve never done things by halves, either.

To date, I’ve acquired and read The Annotated Peter Pan: The Centennial Edition (Edited with an Introduction and Notes by Mary Tartar as well as Andrew Birkin’s marvelous biography J.M. Barrie and the Lost Boys: The Real Story Behind Peter Pan.

In addition to re-watching (and re-watching again!) the Mary Martin version I grew up with (which I’d already seen a thousand times over) – I also revisited the Disney version, P.J. Hogan’s 2003 adaption starring Jeremy Sumpter, as much as I could stomach of Mia Farrow in the 1976 made-for-TV movie (even Danny Kaye couldn’t save it!)  and Finding Neverland a Hollywoodization of Barrie’s relationship with the Llewelyn Davies boys, with a dreamy Johnny Depp playing Barrie (who in real life was 5’3” with a large mustache, a receding hairline, and often given to moody silences.)

I’ve also been ploughing through the 1978 BBC mini-series ‘The Lost Boys’ also written by Birkin, and starring Ian Holm. Despite the excellent critical reception –I’m finding it a bit of a chore – the picture quality of British cameras in 1978 can make even Kensington Gardens look washed out and unremarkable.  And the pace? Well, it’s rather like a BBC miniseries from the seventies. That said, when I discovered I’d missed watching the second episode, I sent the DVD with the third dutifully back to Netflix, and am re-ordering the 2^nd.  While I spared myself the majority of the Mia Farrow version, I feel bound to watch all of this one - however slow it may be!

The truth is – 'Peter' is not a new passion for me - being cast in the role has given me the excuse to dive headfirst into a story that’s always been close to my heart. As I’ve mentioned, I grew up watching the Mary Martin version on a scratchy VHS tape and that version was always “the real Peter Pan” to me.  To this day, I can’t watch the final scene (where Wendy is grown up) without weeping profusely.  (Though I confess, bursting into a flood of tears is not an altogether uncommon happening in my life.)

The ‘boy who wouldn’t grow up’  first came back into my life in force a few years ago when I took a job as a receptionist for a financial company. Sitting at a computer all day, I found I had ample amount time for consuming volumes and volumes of the free-literature available online. One of the books I read was ‘Peter Pan’ (originally published as ‘Peter and Wendy.’) which was J.M. Barrie’s novelization of his famous play. 

Reading the book lit a fire under my dormant love for the story – and increased that love tenfold. I couldn’t stop reading whole passages aloud to whomever would listen – or pretend to.  Whenever I love a piece of literature or writing, my friends and family find themselves subject to constant performances of my favorite parts. I used to write the opening paragraph out in cursive – and it wasn’t long before I had it by heart  (as I do many of my favorite portions of books, poems, movies and plays.)

So when I went to an open call in NYC to audition for Peter Pan – I was already a passionately invested in the story  – when I received the call offering me the role I couldn’t wait to go into what I like to call “full-immersion” mode.

I’ve called this blog “An Untidy Mind” because I hoped it would spare me feeling obligated to make it organized or full of sense or purpose – that sense of obligation is the number one feeling that prevents me from going into a ‘public’ project.

Rather, I plan to haphazardly toss out the contents of my brain as it relates to this adventure – and maybe some unrelated articles will show up as well. I think Mrs. Darling would find tidying up my mind to be a rather challenging endeavor – but I’m sure if anyone could do it, she’d be the one.